


Why Do You Run from Love?

by TheUndiscovered



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A bit AU, Fluff, Hermione ships it, M/M, Out of Character, Ron Weasley-centric, Some angst, Weasley Family mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUndiscovered/pseuds/TheUndiscovered
Summary: You keep pushing me away.Closing yourself off from those who care most.Why won't you let me in?Let me in, let me love youLet yourself love…me.I guess I kind of always knew I was in love with my best friend.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Why Do You Run from Love?

You keep pushing me away.  
Closing yourself off from those who care most.  
Why won't you let me in?  
Let me in, let me love you  
Let yourself love…me.

I guess I kind of always knew I was in love with my best friend. I would say the moment I finally realized was when I saw who he truly was and not what the wizarding world painted him to be, though it took me a while to come to that conclusion. But I knew it was fourth year that I absolutely knew I was in love with Harry. Sad it took a dangerous dragon chasing him around the school grounds for me to that conclusion.

"Ron," Hermione called breaking through my thoughts.  
"Hmmm."  
"Are you okay?" she asked closing her book turning her full attention to me. "Hey," she shouldered me.

"Hey," I muttered.

My attention, eyes, and heart was focused on a particular raven haired, emerald eyed boy in the far corner of the room talking with the twins—no boy is not the right word to describe him, for he is no longer a boy but a man; for no boy could have survived disappointment, terror and near death experiences at such a young age and still be pure and kind at heart.

"It's about Harry, isn't it?" she asked following my train of thought.

"Always is."

Hermione sighed shifting closing to me resting a reassuring hand over my own.

"Ron sweetie, give him some more time. When he is ready, I'm sure he'll come to you."

"I know ‘Mione, but I've been giving him time of the duration of our stay out here and I fear time is running out. It kills me to see him retreat into himself like some turtle afraid of the world. I fear that one day something will happen, and he will retreat completely, and no one can get to him."

"Ron, look at me. You know Harry cares about you a lot, his way of showing that may be questionable to others, but you know it. It’s how he deals with an overload of emotions and events; he just needs to be reassured that you are not going anywhere; any of us."  
She took both my hands in hers rubbing soothing circles with her thumb.  
“He needs you. He knows he needs you but is too stubborn to admit it and it scares him to know that he needs you more so than he needs me or Ginny. Let him know you love him let him know you care even if you must corner him to do so. Though I'm not sure he will like that," she chuckled.

A little smiled turned up the corners of my mouth, Hermione made sense she always did. Harry was as stubborn as they came, he would sacrifice his own happiness for others, but in the end, it would damage him even more. I guess one thing is true about being a Gryffindor; all must have a streak of stubbornness. But Harry was the most stubborn of all.

“Dinner is ready!" mum called.  
Fred and George swooped into the dining room with such speed it gave one a whip flash. The smell of smoked ham and fresh baked bread assaulted my nose the minute I set foot into the dining room.

“Alright everyone, sit down, sit down," mum ordered.  
Everyone sat at the large dinner table that held the feast she prepared; mum stood at the head of the table carving up the smoked ham and dishing it out to us all. I sat across from Harry with Hermione by my side, an easy view of the object of my affections.  
Dinner was a joyous occasion as it was always was during the holidays. Charlie and Bill had a heated, but amusing, debate with the twins on the origin of the veritaserum.

Later that evening I tossed and turned in bed unable to sleep. I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling thinking of the last few months. The few carefree moment we had, Hogsmead weekends and playing a pickup game of Quidditch , it was the calm before the storm. The storm being Lord Voldemort sending a false vision to Harry showing Sirius will end up hurt if he, Harry, did not show up the department of mysteries to retrieve what he wanted. In the end everything was messy, Sirius end up in critical care and many others injured including me.

I remember that day Harry was so distraught, he closed himself off from others for a whole month, only recently has he started to slowly let down his walls. There will be moments where I could hold and kiss him, but when I started showing him the true depth of my feelings for him, he would just up clam right back up. I soon learned not to openly show how much I really cared, and that Harry could only take so much at a time. Mostly when he is in one of his moods, he would cling to any loving affection shown to him.

No longer able to go back to sleep, I got up and headed down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a slice of pie left over from dinner. On my way down the hall I saw a soft glow emanating from the last room on the right.  
Standing in the doorway I could see a low fire lit in the den, the warmth instantly wrapping around me like a cocoon as soon as I entered. I glanced around the room noting the books laid about the bookshelf and the couches huddled close in a circle around the fire. The center sofa had a mop of unruly black hair that I would know anywhere.  
"Hey," I called softly sitting down beside him.

"Hey," a small smile graced his lips.

We sat in silence for an untold amount of minutes listening to the low crackle snap and pop of the fire and the soft steady breathing of our breaths. Harry shifted closer to me resting his head on my shoulder. A silent plea for me to wrap my arms around him, so I hugged him closer to me and a satisfied sigh left his lips. I let my chin rest a top his head, inhaling the fresh scent of his shampoo.  
It's now or never.

"Harry, we need to talk," I said softly. As soon as those words left my mouth, I felt Harry tense up. I tightened my hold on him, firm but reassuring. "I just want you to know that you can come to me and talk to me about anything. I'm here for you always."

"I know," he muttered.

“If you know," I shifted so that we were face to face, “why do you constantly shut yourself off from us, mainly me?"  
I stared into those wondrous green eyes as they stormed with raging emotions; horror, fear, loneliness, and love -just to name a few- were swirling unchecked. Then in an instant his eyes were cold and distant.

"I'm not talking about this," he bit out, removing himself from my arms heading towards the door.  
I pinched the bridge of my nose sighing, no, not this time.

"Yes, we are," I stood locking the door and warding it so that no one can enter or exit until the issue at hand was somewhat resolved. A handy charm I came across one day in a book… shocking I know I read.

"Unlock the door Ron."

"No, not until we've talked about this. I'm tired of tip toeing around this. I've let you go on long enough, Harry and I'm worried about you. What you are doing to yourself, keeping these negative emotions repressed is affecting your health and you don't even see it."  
He flinched. I knew he noticed he was slowly killing himself with his newfound way of caring for himself but was refusing to acknowledge it out loud.

"I don't need you or anybody else hovering over me I can take care of myself. Thank you for your concern but I don't need it. Now, open the door."

I studied him for a moment; pain slightly distorting his face for a second before falling back into an expressionless mask, but his eyes spoke volumes of emotions coursing throughout him trying to tell a story that he could not say aloud. A painful reminder of those who he had loved and lost to those he had or will lose because of love for him; Harry.

"Why are you afraid to let someone get close to you? To let them fully love you?"

“I can't," he whispered, trying to hold onto the raging emotions within, the truth.  
"Can't or won't?"  
"Both."  
"Tell me why Harry. Tell me why someone can't love you, why can't I love you?"

There was a succinct flash of hurt and wistfulness in his eyes, before they went empty yet again.  
"Because," he closed his eyes, his breathing labored, "love is just a dream that is what it will always be. A dream it’s not real."

“That’s not true, and you know it. I can see it in your eyes, you don't believe that. Tell me why." I demanded knowing he was soon at his breaking point.  
"I just can't." he whispered, shutting himself down.

"Don't do this Harry! Don't you shut me out; it will only make matters worse for you. Tell me why you won't allow yourself to get close to those who deeply care about you?"

"Because it’s too dangerous!" he snapped.

"Oh, please don't give me that shit! The world has always been dangerous, since when is it not?" I countered.

"You don't understand Ron," he said shaking his head slowly in the negative, voice steadily rising. “I’m a magnet for death. Death!" He hissed. "Any and everyone who is in my circle is at risk because of me! Do you have any idea how that feels? To know that you are the sole reason for a person's death or suffering? Wondering if the ones you care about are going to make it? Or those who do end up hating you?!" he cried.

"Harry," I took a step closer placing my hands on his shoulders. “No one who knows you could ever hate you. Don't think that way. As for escaping death I've…we've survived many times before and we will many times again if need be."

His shoulders let loose some of the tension it held causing the muscles to tremor.

"But why give Voldemort the chance again, when I can at least help to prevent it?" He asked, his tone conceding defeat.

"Don't you see Ron? What if you don't make it the next time danger comes around? I can't bear the thought of you, Hermione or anyone else for that matter getting injured or worse die. I can't lose you," he softly whispered at the end.

Harry's eyes were a dull vibrant green; an echo of the drain he felt when dealing with the repercussions the war bought about or will bring about. The thought of either me or Hermione harmed, the two most constant things in his life suddenly taken from him, is possibly the hardest blow he can receive during these dark times. Harry closed his eyes taking in deep shaky breaths.

“I feared...," he started his voice low and trembling with such choked emotions; "I had almost lost you once. I feared that at that moment I would never be able to tell you how I felt should anything else went wrong."

Ah yeah, I know what he’s referring to the time I was poisoned in Professor Slughorn's quarter’s a few months back. After coming back from the edge, I saw Harry's pale face a fearful look plastered upon it. It was scary to know that hadn't Harry acted so quickly I could have died. It was another reason why I loved him so, when faced with a harrowing situation he could think on his toes and prevent escalation of a problem. 

"And how do you feel about me Harry?" I asked cupping his face in my hands caressing his cheek with the pad of my thumbs. I knew how he felt, it was in his touch, the way he looks at me, but it was there in his kiss. What he couldn’t put into words he would pour into each kiss; a fiery passion that consumed me and left me breathless every time our lips met.

Yes, I knew how he felt I just wanted him to say it out loud for once instead of holding on to it. If he just tells me this one time and never say again, I would be forever content just to know he said it once.

He closed his eyes leaning into my touch his hands covering mine. He took in a deep breath opening his eyes when he exhaled. His eyes were shining brightly with so much heartfelt love that it made me breathless which on intensified with the next words that left his lips.

"I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and I -"

I closed the distance between us pulling his face closer to mine capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Our lips moved in a familiar dance that spoke volumes of want, need, and love as the kiss deepened. I poured every ounce of love I held for Harry into the kiss leaving no room for doubt or fear. I trailed my tongue along his lower lips seeking entrance tasting the sweet hot chocolate he was drinking earlier. He granted my wish parting his lips, I delved into to the warm moist cavern tasting the essence that was made of him. Tongues danced his submitting to mine as they fought.

I wanted Harry to know that it was alright to let go and let someone care for him. When the need for air became an issue, we parted, and I pressed my forehead against his intent on letting him know that I am here to stay. I am by his side come what may and all he needed was a reminder of that.

"Then let me in, let me love you," I breathed against his lips, “with me you're stronger. I'm stronger. Don't hide from me love. What we got... our love, we have a love that is good, and I don't want to give it up. I don't want to give you up. Can you do that, and let me love you fully as you love me?"  
"Yes."  
"Good, ‘because I'm not going anywhere,” I leaned in planting a kiss firmly on his lips "Ever."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2012 just thought I finally post it.


End file.
